One "Black" Friday

For those of you who recieve my post thru e-mail probably already know how my black Friday earned it's name this year. This is something I need to do for my own peace of mind and if you do not want to read this I completely understand. For hours I pondered on whether to do this and why? Why sit in front of the computer and drudge up memories and cry my eyes out? Why go thru the horror? I'll tell you why, I owe it to Tanner.



This is in honor of Tanner, my best friend and companion. I had the joy of spending 12 and a half years with him. In my eyes he was the best dog you could ever have the honor of being part of the family. Every dog is unique in there own way. You tell me you know a dog that could hold his bladder for 33 hrs and still refused to go in the house. You tell me you know a dog that after not being able to hold it, would go to the bathroom in the tub and not somewhere in the house.

This is my Tanner and I love him.

Tanner was working on 13 years of age and every pet owner knows that animals get old alot quicker than us. Even knowing this, I have had the hardest day of my life.

I was out taking Tanner to pee one night and in the blink of an eye Tanner fell to the ground and I watched his and my life change forever. Tanner would never be the same. As I carried him in the house with my heart racing and placed him on the living room floor, It was then I realized he might not be with us much longer.



Not knowing exactly what happened, I watched him closely till the next day and took him to the vet only to hear the news I knew was coming and didn't want to hear. Tanner was in early stages of congestive heart failure with fluid in his lungs. So I took the heart pills and antibiotic and brought him home.




I gave him his medicine as directed, but only to watch him get worse. He couldn't walk, he couldn't stand, he could barely hold his head up to get a drink. I carried him out and helped him stand as he peed, then would carry him back in and place him on the floor where he would lay for hours on hours. As a couple days past I knew the moment would come and I was putting it off. I would lay with Tanner and cry only to catch those last moments with him. He was suffering and I knew it.

I left for Thanksgiving dinner at my moms only to think about him non stop and feeling bad, because I knew this would be his last Thanksgiving and he was home alone. So I told my mom I was going to get him. I took him to moms and laid him in the living room. He couldn't do much but he enjoyed the attention from everyone. When I brought him home he was different. He actually laid with his head up looking at us when we walked by, following us around the room. It was as if he was saying thank you for spending Thanksgiving Day with me. Thank you for not letting me be alone.

Although he held his head high that night, the next day he was still not making any progress so I took him back to the vets. I got the news I was expecting to hear and "that moment" had arrived. Tanner's organs were shutting down and he was slowly going into shock. It was time to quit being selfish and wanting Tanner with me and do the right thing.

My Tanner is not suffering any more. He is in peace and not pain. And although there is pain in my heart, I am at peace knowing he is not suffering.

To My Dear Tanner,

I love you buddy, and miss you. There won't be a day go by with out thinking of you. I want to apologize for missing 6 months of your life that you lived with Nancy. If I could get those back I would. I knew you didn't like it there and I'm sorry. There will never be another like you. Words can't explain how I feel right now without you, but I am happy your feeling better. Run and play and be happy. I look foward to seeing you again.

P.S. I'll put leftovers in the trash can for you.

I Love You, Daddy

Tanner Barnes

March 24th, 1997 - November 27th, 2009